With summer in full swing here in England (sorry Southern hemisphere!), there's a lot more skin being shown by both girls and boys. But, of course, with that comes a certain expectation of how your body "should" look (the "beach body") and a lot of pressure can be felt, especially by girls.
First of all, I just want to say that everyone, absolutely every single person, was born with a "beach or bikini body" - all you need to do to have one is put on a bikini and go to the beach. Done. It's honestly that simple because these idealistic body types created by society are unobtainable, unrealistic and stupid. You don't need to look a certain way to be happy, as long as you're not endangering your own health you're fine! You should really try and embrace your body, whether you're curvy or slim, because it's what makes you you and you shouldn't be ashamed of it, your body is your ally, not your enemy.
If you're not happy with a body part and you want to change it, go ahead! As long as you're doing it in a way that doesn't harm you and you're doing it for yourself, then do it! If exercising (in moderation) makes you happy, do it, but don't slave away every day because of other people. After all, it is your body, nobody in the entire world has the right to force you to change it. Change yourself not to please others, but yourself.
Don't listen to what other people say, they don't matter and don't think they only care about what you look like. That might sound harsh but it's the truth; people won't always be staring at you and judging you, they often have other things to do in life. When they're old and on their deathbed, they won't go "Oh, that girl I saw 40 years ago... Boy, was she fat!". Focus on making yourself a pleasant person to be around, be the true you and don't worry. If you spend your entire life worrying about what other people think about you, you won't ever get to live your life properly the way you want to - carpe diem.
It's your body so you're in control of it. Don't listen to anyone being mean to you, strangers or friends, if you know you're healthy and they're not trying to help you. It's not worth putting yourself down because some idiot who knows nothing about you and your body (because they're not you) said something stupid, it's all up to you.
Which brings me up to my next point: don't chat fat about yourself. Say you're in a conversation with friends and one person says something bad about themselves, don't respond with "trust me, I'm fatter" or anything along those lines. Don't degrade yourself in order to elevate others, would you say it to your best friend or mother or sister ("trust me, you're fatter")? Love yourself like you love them.
If you're struggling to come to terms with your body, even if you are ignoring other people, familiarise yourself with it. Often, it's easy to look at a photo of yourself and cringe because you don't like certain features, but if you get used to them and accept them, it'll be easier. I want you, right now, to look in a mirror and write down every single thing about your body that you like. If you're as honest as possible (don't worry about being modest or shy), it will help you to focus on the positive and not dwell the negative. Take a good look at yourself and realise that this is you, you might not be a supermodel but you don't need to be one either.
When you've done this, keep the list somewhere you will see everyday, so that when you're not feeling great, you're reminded of all the good things about you. Combine this with inspirational quotes and pictures and any compliments people have given you written down and you'll have the perfect happy area.
I hope that this post was of some help to anyone struggling with body image and confidence because I really feel passionately about this subject. It's not fair that so many expectations are put on women, all of which are nearly impossible. Even though I wrote this, I'm definitely not an expert so please, please google a few help sites if you're really having difficulty. Just know that I love you and there is nothing wrong with you whatsoever *sends a million internet hugs and kisses* :)
Natalie xx
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